During my bi-weekly coaching call with the fabulous Jill Borsos today, I said out loud something very important to me…
Since 2008, I’ve trained for one long distance race or another. In doing so, A LOT of calories get burned and the body gets strong. This year, there’s no long race and less calories being burned. As a result, my clothes fit tighter and I feel ‘off’.
To feel ‘on’, I took a very close look at my food choices. Yep, waaaaay too many unnecessary dark chocolate covered almonds, scoops of almond butter, and helpings of dinner. I know better, but did differently.
I wanted to feel better about what I looked like, but more importantly, how I felt about myself based upon the decisions I was making. Was I taking the ‘easy way out’ by eating too much and ‘checking out’, looking to food as my escape? Yep… again.
I’ve dealt with and struggled with body image my entire life… “too fat”…. “too thin”…. “too normal”…. “too extreme”. It’s absolutely maddening and exhausting.
Our society tells and shows us that a thin body is more valuable than an unthin body, which makes me fucking nuts. #HorribleLogic So I had to make the decision whether a less-fat version of me was for society or me. TRUTH: A little of society and the majority for me.
In a fit, less-fat body I feel energized. I like how I look and feel. I like and value wearing the clothes I want to wear and getting a second glance in public. It feels good. But it’s not why I want to look and feel fit.
To me, it’s a connection of my body, spirit and mind. I am, afterall, a spirit housed in a physical body, thus, I want to feel and look healthy, strong, attractive. AND I’ve been given a brain and heart to experience life fully.
I believe all parts of me work together. So, when I tell my body that she’s ugly, fat, or unattractive, that self-judgement hits all parts of me.
If I had one wish, one hope for you, it would be that the love you feel for even the littlest part of you extends to the entire part of you.
Fat or the lack of doesn’t nothing to define you. Love, integrity, loyalty, forgiveness, joy, vulnerability, courage and acceptance, these are the valuable characters that connect us all and make us irreplaceable and aligned to express our best selves. #LOVEYOU
Yours in bravery,